how does it feel... now that you know you could've had it all with me?
I was willing to give it all just to see you happy... I would have handed the world to you.
When I see you name pop up on my phone, I roll my eyes because you are shit to me.
I used to drop everything just to text you back, I used to get butterflies from the thought of you or just hearing your voice.
Now I couldn't care to see you and you're voice makes me feel absolutely nothing.
YOU make me feel absolutely nothing.
I never thought I'd say this about you.
thought we were on some forever shit and now i dont care if I dont ever see you, shiit.
I never thought one person could make me so care-free.. Now im the asshole, Now im cold as ice. I have no emotions.feelings towards people.
how does it feel... to be the on who cares? the one who's hurting? who misses me? who wants me? who wants to give me everything?
how does it feel now that the tables have turned? It's so funny how the world works and how people trade places in the blink of an eye.
-scee
crUsh...
You know when you have a crush on someone, but they're so perfect to you that you think they don't even know you exist?
Hoping they could just notice you and they can become more than a crush...
How every time you see them, you point them out to your friends...
How you can only dream about their smell, their touch, their voice..
How perfect they seem to you, but only from a distance, because you've never been too close.. Or close enough...
You know if you go to close your heart might just pound out of your chest, or you might do the wrong thing...
Then one day they finally notice you and you engage in short conversation with them..
Then the conversations get longer and longer and you start hanging out with them.. and laughing with them and telling jokes, the sleepovers and the whole package... and as always in the beginning, things are always perfect...
Then time passes and you're still hanging out, but things start to change... and you realize everything you thought was a scam.. every perfect thing you thought about them was protected by distance because they aren't at all what you thought...
In fact, you realize you can't even stand to be around them because they are so far from what you thought and they start to seem ugly to you because their personality is so bitter...
Then you realize there is no connection at all...
And just like that, they become the perfect stranger again... except this time you won't long for their smell, their touch, their voice...
-scee
Hoping they could just notice you and they can become more than a crush...
How every time you see them, you point them out to your friends...
How you can only dream about their smell, their touch, their voice..
How perfect they seem to you, but only from a distance, because you've never been too close.. Or close enough...
You know if you go to close your heart might just pound out of your chest, or you might do the wrong thing...
Then one day they finally notice you and you engage in short conversation with them..
Then the conversations get longer and longer and you start hanging out with them.. and laughing with them and telling jokes, the sleepovers and the whole package... and as always in the beginning, things are always perfect...
Then time passes and you're still hanging out, but things start to change... and you realize everything you thought was a scam.. every perfect thing you thought about them was protected by distance because they aren't at all what you thought...
In fact, you realize you can't even stand to be around them because they are so far from what you thought and they start to seem ugly to you because their personality is so bitter...
Then you realize there is no connection at all...
And just like that, they become the perfect stranger again... except this time you won't long for their smell, their touch, their voice...
-scee
hiding spot
Thoughts racing through my mind...
Running tryna find a place to hide.
Decisions from the past often come alive,
Stick to me like honey on a beehive.
I have an ugly soul like the sky on a rainy day...
Always tend to feel like things cant go my way.
Everything takes time to heal,
Nobody would ever understand how I feel.
-scee
Running tryna find a place to hide.
Decisions from the past often come alive,
Stick to me like honey on a beehive.
I have an ugly soul like the sky on a rainy day...
Always tend to feel like things cant go my way.
Everything takes time to heal,
Nobody would ever understand how I feel.
-scee
you don't know...
You don't know how I look when I wake up in the morning.
You don't know how I look when I brush my teeth.
You don't know how I look when I'm cold.
You don't know how I look when I'm tired.
You don't know how I look after a long day at work.
You don't know how I look in my work uniform.
You don't know how I look when I'm in a rush.
You don't know how I look when I'm driving a car.
You don't know how I look after I get a bad phone call.
You don't know how I feel after a break-up.
You don't know how I feel after I stop being friends with someone.
You don't know how I feel on my birthday.
You don't know how I feel on Christmas morning.
You don't know how I dress for school.
You don't know how I am doing in school.
You don't know how stressed I get about finals.
You don't know how I get extreme anxiety when I take the train.
You don't know how I write a paper.
You don't know because you don't care to know.
You don't ask about me. It's like I'm non-existent.
You don't know how I feel after all the damage you've caused me.
how I've contemplated suicide because I can't take anymore damage.
But that would only be the easy way out. And nothing in life is ever easy right?
I have realized that I do have people that care about me and that would be selfish of me.
you were never there when I needed you, it was like I was invisible. You were against me.
(something from 2011)
-scee
You don't know how I look when I brush my teeth.
You don't know how I look when I'm cold.
You don't know how I look when I'm tired.
You don't know how I look after a long day at work.
You don't know how I look in my work uniform.
You don't know how I look when I'm in a rush.
You don't know how I look when I'm driving a car.
You don't know how I look after I get a bad phone call.
You don't know how I feel after a break-up.
You don't know how I feel after I stop being friends with someone.
You don't know how I feel on my birthday.
You don't know how I feel on Christmas morning.
You don't know how I dress for school.
You don't know how I am doing in school.
You don't know how stressed I get about finals.
You don't know how I get extreme anxiety when I take the train.
You don't know how I write a paper.
You don't know because you don't care to know.
You don't ask about me. It's like I'm non-existent.
You don't know how I feel after all the damage you've caused me.
how I've contemplated suicide because I can't take anymore damage.
But that would only be the easy way out. And nothing in life is ever easy right?
I have realized that I do have people that care about me and that would be selfish of me.
you were never there when I needed you, it was like I was invisible. You were against me.
(something from 2011)
-scee
I am from...
I am from where the scariest thing was the monsters under my bed; to the point I had to sleep with mommy and daddy
I am from "tag, your it!" to playing with Barbie's; the funniest thing was cutting my dolls hair off and getting yelled at because I did it
I am from where the biggest reason to cry was getting scraped knees, falling off my bike; getting off my "training wheels"; wearing barney band-aids
I am from sharing secrets in school and sharing lunches at my desk; gossiping about who has a crush on who... going on play-dates and slumber parties; staying up until 10 the latest, thinking it was so late
I am from wanting to sleep over the hospital when my new baby brother was born; to bringing him to my first show and tell in preschool
I am from sharing my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to throwing out the yucky colored skittles
I am from a fantasy world where all your dreams come true to the tragedy of my grandfather's death; I remember the day, place and time
I am from the worst thin being my parents divorce to having to worry about life/death situations everyday and worrying about losing someone I love
I am from my childhood and what still happens today...
(something i wrote back in 2008)...
-scee
I am from "tag, your it!" to playing with Barbie's; the funniest thing was cutting my dolls hair off and getting yelled at because I did it
I am from where the biggest reason to cry was getting scraped knees, falling off my bike; getting off my "training wheels"; wearing barney band-aids
I am from sharing secrets in school and sharing lunches at my desk; gossiping about who has a crush on who... going on play-dates and slumber parties; staying up until 10 the latest, thinking it was so late
I am from wanting to sleep over the hospital when my new baby brother was born; to bringing him to my first show and tell in preschool
I am from sharing my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to throwing out the yucky colored skittles
I am from a fantasy world where all your dreams come true to the tragedy of my grandfather's death; I remember the day, place and time
I am from the worst thin being my parents divorce to having to worry about life/death situations everyday and worrying about losing someone I love
I am from my childhood and what still happens today...
(something i wrote back in 2008)...
-scee
ABOUT......
My name is Stefanie Callahan. My birthday is June 5, 1994, which makes me a Gemini. I was born and raised in New Jersey, USA. I have a bachelors degree in Psychology/Criminal Justice. I am the oldest of four siblings. I am half Greek, and a mix of Irish, French and German.
This blog will consist of photography and writing. I'm trying to clear my writer's block, I'm a bit rusty so bear with me. I'm going to try to post a writing piece and then a photo everyday. If anyone has requests, feel free to comment or reach out. Welcome to my page and enjoy :)
-scee
This blog will consist of photography and writing. I'm trying to clear my writer's block, I'm a bit rusty so bear with me. I'm going to try to post a writing piece and then a photo everyday. If anyone has requests, feel free to comment or reach out. Welcome to my page and enjoy :)
-scee
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